Since coming back home, after going homeless, my parents and I have gone into the strangest cycles ever. They seem to decide they don't like me all that much every day, and slowly change their mind throughout the day, until they eventually decide they don't mind me all that much. I rather prefer it when I live in London, and when I come back for a couple of hours, I get lots of love.
This morning things were a bit more extreme. My mother was utterly cold towards me, barely acknowledging my existence. And then she told me that when my dad left this morning he said he 'gave up on me.' I can honestly say, living in a house you don't feel welcome in, by your own parents... sucks. It sucks balls.
So. I made cake. And meringues. And a massive dinner.
My mother seems to like me again. I imagine I'll have to start over tomorrow.
Oh well. At least they take damn good.
chocolate pistachio squares
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Since it's been so long since I've paid attention to livejournal, I've just been looking at my friends list and... I DON'T KNOW WHO THE HELL SOME OF YOU ARE. Either my memory is incredibly bad, or you people changed your usernames XD HELP ME OUT HERE PEOPLE. Tell me who you used to be if you changed your username in the last few years XD
Boy do I feel lost after all this time D8
I decided it was about time that I got back on livejournal. Bit of a waste of a permanent account really... So: bringing my new hair colour! Well, colours really. Plum, violet, flame, peacock blue and cyclamen. Since my hair has been so damaged by our own hair dyeing, as well as all the hair modelling, I wasn't allowed to bleach, so I won't be going back to white & pink any time soon. Still, the current colours are pretty funky I think. Though I think the effect will be lost at work, since the lights tend to break all the time...
That's another new thing. I finally have a job. And all me and koboshi_ichigo had to do to get them, was queue for GACKT. So I'm now bar staff & cloackroom girl at HMV Forum in Kentish Town - and during my induction I got to run around Gackt's dressing room and steal his notices. And if he comes to the same venue again next year, guess who gets to go deliver all the stuff they want? 8D So far I've only worked the Jayhawks, the Vaccines and Sister Sledge.
I'm so glad HMV Forum doesn't have that much in the bar, I'm having a hard enough time getting to grips with what they DO have. And every time I think I've mastered everything, someone gives me an order that I can't comprehend. And then there are all the people who are so very obviously not friendly before they even open their mouth, I get anxious enough about getting everything right, I really don't need extra attitude. Oh well, most people tend to be really nice.
I've managed to bollocks things up again! I was determined to stay on top of work this year, I have failed so hard XD;
I really need to keep my head down and get my arse into gear >.<
Two weeks until the end of term, and I have to:
- Make sure I know the kanji & grammar from all term for the end of term test.
I'm pretty sure I'm forgetting something... Someone kick my ass into gear T__T
I've never regretted getting a mac, even when it started going weird... Which I still haven't worked out why - icons disappearing, unable to look at photos, other weird stuff. Anyway, I've still not regretted it. However. There are two things that really bother me about not having a PC any more.
It was my favourite LJ client... and I've now tried all the clients available for macs... and they don't come close. I really miss semagic. I think it's one of the reasons I stopped going on LJ... I'm trying to overcome that now but... that brings me to the other thing.
I still like making icons, but my program of choice, a specific version of paint shop pro, isn't available on mac. In fact, it's pretty old, so it's not really available at all. I still have my old CD, but it's pretty useless without a PC T__T I miss making icons~ Every time I get back on LJ, I have the urge to make new shiny icons... but I can't T__T I *know* paint shop pro, I can't get the hang of any other program like I got to grips with that one.
I shouldn't be thinking about icons anyway, I have a bazillion kanji to learn for tomorrow, I have an essay due in the day after, which I haven't started, in fact I'm thinking of a last minute topic change, my ISP supervisor wants to see me on Wednesday to discuss how I'm getting on (I've not done anything!!) and I have a shitload of reading to do for modern lit on Tuesday.
So screwed. So I should get on.
Once again I'm copying from wordpress - where my formatting is far better XD;
We did arrive somewhat late, well, I say we, but I live literally around the corner, I did however have to wait for some of the others. The entrance was a little messy, but not horrendous. It was somewhat made worse by the fact that it was raining… >.>;
I don’t know what was happening before we arrived, but as we came in, on stage was funky duo 10, the likes of which I can honestly say, I’ve never heard anything like before. To each their own, if it’s your thing, give them some support.
He wasn’t annoyed no matter how many times people came up to him to ask for photos, though he did seem surprised at our “写真を撮ってもいいですか.”
I did feel bad however, once all the mayhem died down, and he was behind the desk with the rest of the beautifully gothic entourage, only a couple of people went up to buy stuff :/ Which really, must have been pretty disappointing for him. He arrived at 3am, went to a small venue, and only sold a handful of CDs :/
The poor guy looked so bored and fed up sitting behind the table ._.; But alas, I could not afford to buy anything :/ I could have saved on shipping costs XP;
*...it was 'last night' when I wrote this, and never bothered to post XP Photos taken by Steven Cheng.
Maji De Je T'aime
I am once again copying from my wordpress, though it looks prettier on there XD It actually has decent formatting XP
Warning: Swearing. Rant on the state of the fandom. A little bit of fangirling (only a little....).
I was in the queue from ...8 or 9? 10? I can't even remember any more, it was a pretty long day. But I was near the very front of the queue, behind everyone who camped out. First and foremost, I have to take the time to talk about the legend that was Jerry. Jerry turned up around 10am, declaring himself as the not so benevolent dictator of the O2 Academy Islington Queue. He started shouting and making all the Rules Perfectly Clear. And if we didn't follow them, we would be EJECTED. He also kept shouting "girls" to get our attention... which amused me because there were quite a few guys there. However it was only one lonely Jerry against the Gackt fan army, so he brought in reinforcements. To be honest, it just looked like he grabbed random muscle from the street and shoved an orange t-shirt on him. He introduced his new sidekick to us as Perry.
Jerry & Perry.
You just can't make that shit up. Perry didn't really do much apart from cracking his muscles and nodding his agreement to whatever Jerry said. Which we also had to do, or he wouldn't leave us alone.
".....isn't that right girls?"
This is also where my rant slides in, I might as well get it out of the way, so it doesn't spoil the Gacktness. However I do have to get this off my chest. For a man that spreads so much love and joy, some of his fans are batshit crazy. Don't get me wrong, the majority were lovely. There was a general feeling of 'we're all here to experience this together, we've all been waiting, let's enjoy it!' - however there were the exceptions that just made me angry. Some people there I just could. not. respect. There were "fans" there who seemed to have a sense of entitlement, as if they were somehow superior fans and deserved to get more than everyone else. It's an attitude I couldn't understand. I mean, I've waited 11 years to see Gackt live - I'm 22, I started listening to him at age 11. I talked to a girl who has waited 5 years. Am I somehow better than her? Am I somehow a better fan for having heard of Gackt earlier? It's ridiculous!
Apart from this distasteful minority, most people were great. While in the queue, a union jack came 'round, and we signed it and wrote messages. There was also a journal going around, for longer messages to Gackt. All in all, it kept us entertained during the long wait. As did the tour buses, that had serious problems reversing. There was also a Big Issue seller wondering about with a cat on his shoulders (the cat was called Bob, in case you wanted to know, the guy saved Bob from a fox - apparently he has a YouTube video, but I haven't been able to find it).
When the band arrived (late), everyone flocked to see them, so I didn't see much at all. I knew exactly when Gackt arrived, due to the screams, but I only saw Chirolyn's hair. It was spiky and pink. Very difficult to miss.
The tension definitely escalated after that, it somehow became more real. Gackt was technically only a few metres away from us. Not only is he in the same country, in the same city, but he's in the building we're outside of! Only many thick walls, dozens of staff and bodyguards and Jerry & Perry between us.
Fast- forward to actually getting into the venue. I was confronted with a dilemma. Should I leave my bag in the cloakroom? I didn't. (Mistake). Should I buy the merchandise first? I didn't. (Mistake?) I can't really regret not doing either as it saved me enough time to get a spot next to the barriers - arm's length from the stage. And right next to the speakers. Which, incidentally, gave me temporary tinnitus for the duration of the weekend. They also gave me momentary deafness throughout the live, which was weird. Advice to anyone going to such a compact gig: leave your bag in the cloakroom. Staying alive in the pit is difficult enough without extra stuff to hold on to, and for others to pull at. As is, I nearly ended up half naked several times, I'm still confused as to why people felt the need to pull on my top ¬_¬; As for merchandise... personal preference really. I missed out on getting the tank top... which was unbelievably disappointing. But I got all the other stuff I wanted. And I was really close to the stage. So again, can't really regret it. Besides. I got the t-shirt. Only 1 size too big.... But back to merchandise later.
So much happened it's far too easy to go off on a tangent. At least it's semi-relevant.
Once in the pit, I was very close to the stage - arm's length away. The live started really late, so we had a lot of time to get to know all the fans around us, since by the time everyone got in, unless you stuck together, you weren't standing with people you were in the queue with. So, mostly we sweated, and prepared ourselves mentally for The Crunch.
Then, between various chants of "YFC" the staff came on stage to do some tuning... Which prompted some screaming, our side just looked at each other XD; Then finally Gackt's Secretary came on. He told 'us motherfuckers' to follow some simple rules, otherwise, as new recruits, we would be required to shove a knife in our gut and pull, HARAKIRI OSU. Our section enjoyed replying with OSU. So yeah, the rules were "no smoking" and "no filming on your phones" - and that if we had the audacity to film it, at least get it in good quality and not shitty camera phone quality XD; There were quite a few things for which we were required to commit harakiri... not enjoying from start to finish, etc. "Men, if you're going to die for a girl, do it with a fucking smile on your face, OSU".
After some more waiting, the band finally came on. In outfits like these. ...Though they didn't stay on for long.
I have to say... When Chachamaru came on, I was seriously struck by how beautiful he is! I mean, I knew he was fine looking, I mean, all you need is eyes to know it's true XD But seeing him at arm's length away from me? I was struck quite speechless by his... beauty. He's also so great at interacting with the crowd, at no point did I get a feeling from him, or any of them really, that they'd rather be somewhere else, though I wasn't expecting anything else XD; But it's nice when the people you put on a pedestal prove just how much they deserve to be up there :P Chirolyn was also great at audience interaction, but I generally get the impression he's somewhat insane >.>; Jun-ji, after coming on stage went behind the drums and then I didn't see him all that much :O Apart from the occasional stick twirling. YOU mostly kept to the other side of the stage, so I didn't see much of him ._.; And Gackt... was beautiful. I was struck by such disbelief that I was actually seeing him in the flesh, less than 2 metres from me, I didn't even care half his head was in cornrows XD;
I'm not going to go through all the songs one by one, mostly because I can't remember everything in order :P Gackt had a sword with him for the first song, which I think was ZAN... I can't remember if it was after that, or if it was maybe after Dybbuk, but Gackt went to the back of the stage and used an inhaler :/ I have to say, it broke my heart a bit :O
At one point Gackt took of his tie and threw it in the audience, Chachamaru followed suit. Gackt then gave the audience a sultry look and ripped his shirt off and threw it in the audience. Chachamaru also ripped his shirt open, but kept it on, for the moment. Apparently there was some serious rippage of the shirt happening wherever it landed but.... If that was the case, I'm not really surprised. Eventually everyone got their shirts & ties off - can't imagine anyone complained.
Unfortunately, half way through, due to the incredible heat and jumping, I felt really sick - which happens to me a lot. Especially at the gym -__-; So at that point, I had to make my way out of the pit. The girls behind me who kept trying to either push me to the floor or climb onto me wasted no time in claiming my space. At this point, after some girls helped me at the bar, Jerry (JERRY!) came to my rescue and led me to the cooler first aid area~ Where one of my friends was already XD;
Jerry: It's me you know, girls just faint when they see me.
Oh Jerry <3
So yes, to my endless regret, I missed a whole song. I waited 11 years to finally see Gackt in the flesh. And I missed a whole song. And gave up my space which was an arm's length away from him -__-; At this point there was no way of getting back in, so I grabbed a place by the bar and kept getting more and more water to replenish all the water I sweated out earlier =_=; To be fair, I had a perfect view, no one in the way, no shoving... Just a little further back. I did however miss the guitar humping bit. Damn you, body! Of all the moments to need to throw up. Oh well, at least the first aid guy was impressed I managed not to XD;
At one point he shouted something along the lines of "Do you want to fuck me?" or "Show me how much you want to fuck me" - not sure, but it had something to do with the desire to fuck Gackt. Everyone went wild and he looked terribly smug XD; He just stood there taking it all in.
Towards the end, the flag we wrote on was thrown on stage. The band tried to hold it up, but it took them several tries to get it right XD; Gackt just had a look of "you are ruining my super cool moment -___-;;;;;;" but then he did also look like he was about to cry. Chachamaru then draped the flag over Gackt's shoulders (QUEEN MOMENT!) and Gackt just stood there. Bit like a Michael Jackson moment - he just stands there doing nothing and people are on the verge of fainting XD;
What's so super amazing is that Gackt did in fact take the time to read the messages on the flag, in his blog he wrote not only about the bad trying to unfold the flag, but he also mentioned:
i.e. it wasn't just fans from England, but also fans from Poland came - I've never fainted in my life, but I felt quite faint when I read that XD ( HE READ MY MESSAGE OMG)
Anyway, at the end, Chirolyn was the last on stage, enjoying the limelight~ He looked down and noticed his trousers were quite low and a bit of his underwear was showing. So he promptly pulled his trousers down. With his trousers around his knees, he jumped off the boxes and hobbled off the stage XD;
Gackt's secretary came back on, telling us to buy every fucking bit of merchandise, or HARAKIRI. OSU.
The queue was epic, of course. And a girl who cut in front of me got the last tank top T__T *heartbroken* I did manage to grab some stuff though.( Merchandise!Collapse )
I'm being lazy and pretty much just copying this from my wordpress XD
Monday night was UnsraW!! Most excellent gig. Except it was at Scala, one has to wonder why, but I guess I can't complain, considering how close it is to me. I imagine people coming from King's X were slightly confused by all the people with big and brightly coloured hair outside Scala. I did join in with the big hair this time, mostly because it was done for me XP I don't have as much skill with the comb & hairspray I'm afraid. I did bring glitter to the table though.
There weren't quite as many people as I expected to be there, and I'm sure it was pretty disappointing for the band, but, again, can't complain. We got to sit on the stage, and we all got attention from the band XD; I got away injury free mostly - except the usual sore neck. koboshi_ichigo got taken out with Tetsu's guitar - she has one hell of a shiner now. In fact, he abused her a lot during the gig. Though I'm not entirely sure she minded all that much :P Apart from the swollen black eye that is.
UnsraW are amazing live. Yuuki looked pretty damn scary - I never thought sparkly red lipstick could do that, but it did. Shou was all chillax in the background, not wearing any shoes (and donning crocs occasionally - normally I hate them, but dammit, they were cute on him >.>). Jin, who is officially one of my new favourite people, was all cool and reserved, occasionally coming to the front to interact with us (favourite moment: him standing at the edge of the stage with his pick in his mouth, waiting for people to twig that he wanted someone to take it XP oh if only I got it T__T). Tetsu and Madoka kept swapping positions XD; They were very.... bouncy.
I don't think I'm wrong in saying most of the audience was female, so I have to wonder why the band members (minus Shou, who was behaving himself behind his drums) thought it was wise to attempt to have us lift them.... They did however soon realise that we were only capable of pushing them back on stage as long as they kept their feet on the ground XP Even though it really wasn't difficult to get to the stage, some people kept near the back of the room, which I think pissed off Yuuki, who got off the stage, stomped over to them, and started pulling people towards the stage. He even grabbed a guy and girl and pulled them on stage - the guy sneaked off the second Yuuki turned away, I'm not quite sure what happened to the girl though. When I looked over she was gone, possibly she sneaked off the other side, but I have a suspicion Yuuki might have pushed her into the audience. >.>;
Awesomely, they had a signing after the show :3 Madoka was particularly hilarious with his autographs, writing "fuck you" and the occasional "kill you" - I only got a signature. I don't know if I should be happy to get away without being cursed or threatened, or disappointed to miss out on the abuse XD; One of them told me "good job". Why, I do not know. Maybe he was impressed that my hair was still gravity defying even after all that headbanging. Or something. I don't know. Tetsu was giving everyone (I think everyone, anyway) an "I love you" with his signature XD; But most importantly, I got my photo with Jun ^____^
The entire gig made me very happy. Especially him ^. Next time, Miyavi and -OZ-! ...and maybe Girugamesh.
I've completely neglected LJ, which is very much a shame, as I have a permament account :O So I'm starting all over again! Though I've also actually started a wordpress blog, so I'm afraid some stuff will repeat itself :/
But I've always considered LJ more of a social, community based thing, whereas wordpress feels less community oriented, I'm happier rambling about my life on LJ. I feel my entries on wordpress need to be a bit more thought through...
So yes, I am back!
And if I start neglecting LJ again, please poke me >.<
Now, I need to clean up all my communities and things~